Waking Up The Devil
by You Left Me At The Altar
Summary: Adam Faulkner wakes up in a psychiatric hospital. He can't remember how he got there until doctor and boyfriend Lawrence Gordon tells him that Adams' and Mark Hoffman's baby was brutally murdered; by Adam himself. ADAM/LAWRENCE x ADAM/HOFFMAN x ADAM/ZEP ?
1. Custody

**UPDATE****:  
**BEWARE (Violent and sexual tendencies, psychological terror, torture, strong language)

PS.; Yeeeeees. In my world men CAN get pregnant. Problem with that?

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ADAM POV

Jigsaw.

He changed my entire life.

„Calm down, Mr. Faulkner. The judge is a nice man, I promise."

In a good way.

"His Honour Mr. Justice Peter Vogt. Please stand up."

And a bad way.

"Mr. Mark Hoffman and Mr. Adam Faulkner. Not married to each other. Subject: Custody for their one year old son Jason Hoffman Faulkner. Me and the witnesses came to a decision."

I dared to look at him.

How proud and confident he stood there in his cop suit.

Instead of me.

My knees trembled, I leaned against the table.

My hair messy, standing up in all directions.

My face full with scars.

I was just a useless photographer.

A voyeur.

A pathetic piece of shit.

Those were exactly the right words to describe me.

I was nothing.

"The court of Melbourne decided to adjudge the sole custody for Jason Hoffman Faulkner to the father. Mark Hoffman."

It felt like a headshot.

And I collapsed.

"No! No! You can't do that! I… I need my son!"

"Order in the court!"

"Shut up!"

He was just an asshole. I didn't care if judge or not.

"Mr. Faulkner! You will get a – "

"Fuck yourself!"

My lawyer helped me to get up and tried to calm me down.

"You can't do that…"

He taught me with a serious gaze trough his thick glasses.

"Of course I do…"

My sobbing was a horrible sound, which resounded in the courtroom very loudly.

I felt weak. And every word gave me another hit in the face.

"Mr. Faulkner. You have to understand. We want the best solution for everyone."

"Fuck you want…"

I looked over to him again. Not a hint of pity in his face, as he looked at me back and his ice-cold blue eyes stabbed mine like a dagger.

"Don't you stare! DO SOMETHING, MARK!"

I yelled. Desperately. Hopelessly. In pain.

But he was pokerfaced.

"Adam, please. It's the best decision for you and our little one."

Tears burned like acid in my eyes.

"Fucking asshole…"

I perceived every word the judge read out trough my ears like a filter.

My mind screamed.

'Do something, you moron! It's your son! Your little Jason!'

And I remember how I begged.

"Please. I can't live without my son… He's the meaning of life…  
He and Lawrence… I know. I'm not an example. But I would do everything for him… As God is my witness."

True.

Oh dammit. Lawrence… I need you so much now…

"Mr Faulkner. Is it right that you've been a victim of the serial killer Jigsaw, because you've been a voyeur and suffered under borderline and self-injury?"

"Yes, your Honour… But I'm going to a therapy for Jigsaw survivors with my boyfriend every week now. We met during the game the first time…"

Mark was laughing mockingly.

"The 'great' Dr. Lawrence Gordon is suspected being an apprentice of Jigsaw."

My fist hit the table in front of me.

"That's bullshit, Mark! Why should Lawrence be grateful for sawing off his foot and help Jigsaw? It doesn't make any sense! You just can't get over it that I left you!"

"Order in the court! Lawrence Gordon is not the case now!"

I fought with myself.

Next step. I knew it would cause trouble, but it was worth a try…

For Jason!

"Your Honour…"

I approached the older man with tears drowned eyes and voice.

"He might be a detective, but…"

I turned my head to Mark.

He looked at me and my voice collapsed straightaway like chart house.

"But? I'm curious about it, Adam."

The tone in his voice made me shiver like a drenched kitten in the rain.

I built my chart house of voice up again slowly.

"I don't know if… if someone believes me… But Mark… Mark beat me when we were together."

I didn't dare to open my eyes.

Just felt like tears coursed trough my closed eyelashes, down my cheek as I thought of the many times his strong fist hit my face and blood poured down like thick rain down on the floor.

"That's a lie and you know it, Adam. Your Honour, there is no proof that I ever done something like that to him. Assuming that I've 'done', why didn't he tell about it earlier?"

That was exactly him. Lying straight into somebody's eyes.

"Sorry, Mr. Faulkner. There's no evidence, and if t-"

"He forced me to have sex."

I opened my eyes again.

Shocked faces.

A glimmer of hope?

Failed.

"Stop lying, Adam. There's no evidence… It's over. But you don't have to be afraid. I will take care of Jason. Promise."

"Shut up… You're a monster…. A mendacious rapist!"

"Quiet, Mr. Faulkner! We all understand your reactions, but there's no evidence for your charges. So the judgment decides to devolve the sole custody to Mark Hoffman at the moment. He's mentally and physically in a good shape and he has a safe job. So he's very well qualified to take care of the child."

"Thank you, my Honour. I really appreciate that."

Enough.

I walked over to him quickly.

It was too late for the security agents to hold me back, as my hand slapped as hard as I could across his face.

"Asshole! I wish from the bottom of my heart that you will rot in this bathroom like I did, you sick fuck!"

"Mr. Faulkner! Stop it! Or I'm forced to suspend punitive damages for you!"

But I didn't care, even though my hits seemed to amuse Mark.

So I spit right into his face.

He took my son away from me.

No sum of money in the world hurt as much as that…

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**Only the best for the ****Adam/Lawrence, Adam/Hoffman fans. :) Reviews?  
**


	2. Bottle monsters

_**Thanks so much for the reviews. Couldn't update and review other stories here. I will repeat it. Someday, maybe. I can't think clearly of or about Adam and Lawrence now.**_

**MARK POV**

Adam.

„Don't you dare touch me!"

I grabbed his delicate arm and dragged him out of the courtroom.

"Calm down, Adam…"

You… little, stupid and naive cunt, you...

"Don't think that you come trough with this, you fucking asshole!"

I wiped his sweet spit out of my eye and turned to him.

These greenish gray eyes…. like a little kitten…

Too bad…

They looked back at now. Filled with pure hate and disgust.

Not like in the earlier days, where we used to…

**"Fuck…"**

"Harder, Mark…. Jesses… It hurts, but please."

His chocolate curled brown hair… sticking like glue on my neck.

Shining like pure gold from the sun, which was shining shyly trough the curtains of the room.

"God, Adam…!"

"Mark!"

His full, heart-filled lips pressed in pain against my chin, looking desperately for my lips. The long eyelashes closed, tickling softly my cheek.

"Open your eyes…"

I wished.

And he did.

Looking up to me with these greenish gray eyes, as pure, white and clear as jade.

Adoring.

He was breathing hardly.

Sweet pearls on his forehead and all over his little body resembled to diamonds.

So beautiful…

"..my pretty angel…"  
  
My weak pretty angel.

He still was.

And he would ever be…

"Stop staring at me! You hear me?"

I could take it.

He was too weak. He knew that by himself.

It pleased me to see him suffer with every breath he took.

I loved him.

I loved to hate him.

To torture him.

To hurt him.

I returned him the damn favour…

"I will. No worries about that, Adam.", I hissed into his face and smiled.

"If you lay a finger on Jason, I'll kill you, Mark. I swear I do…"

I looked deeper into his eyes.

My grip got harder.

His heart shaped lips trembled.

"I don't care what you're doing to me. Not anymore... But you're dangerous for Jason…"

Sad to say, but I knew exactly what he meant…

**"Mark, I'm back home!"**

It was weeks after Adam's first Jigsaw game. He tried to bring normality back into our family and started to work again as a photographer during the day, while I had my nightshift.

"Mark?"

But he failed. I knew he felt in love with another man…

The man he was in the bathroom with.

"Mark! I'm back! Are you here, love?"

He didn't love me anymore and it was tearing everything in me apart.

I was desperate.

And touched the bottom of my life.

"Compared with your mommy, you're the only one for me, sweety…",  
I said calm and stroked the soft little cheek with the barrel of the gun.

"Dadda…?"

I smiled and took a pull out of the bottle.

"I used to be, babe…"

My finger touched slightly the trigger. I was shacking.

"Sure. You would get a new daddy…. Dr. Lawrence Gordon! But… no. You won't… Not over my dead body! And not over yours…"

Did I recognize the sound of the door? I guess I didn't.

I just focused on the pretty little face in front of me.

The gun in my one hand, and the bottle of vodka in my other hand.

"You're truly a match of your beautiful mum…",

I said deeply and took another big hit out of the bottle.

"This whore…"

Jason touched the barrel with his small baby hands curiously.

"Mark…. What the fuck are you doing there?"

Adam.

I didn't dare to turn around. I wasn't able to.

"Talking to my son."

"T-talking? What you've got there?"

I heard his traps. He came over to me, but before he reached me I got up.

And I pointed…

I pointed that fucking barrel of a gun on my kids face.

"Mark!"

"Get. Away."

Adam panicked tried to get over to me, but I didn't let him.

"Get away! Or I'll blew him off!"

"N-no! You won't…. What happened? Please, Mark… God."

"'What happened?'", I repeated teasing and hit him with the heavy backside of the gun in the face that he felt on the floor, before I pointed it back at Jason.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I shouted. I shouted until my lungs hurt, but I didn't give a fuck about it.

"You're a god damn whore, Adam! And I'm this far away to drown you in a pool of your and Gordons blood, bitch!"

That's when Jason began to cry.

I scared him, but I didn't care.

I really didn't.

And Adam was bleeding all over his face.

I kind of regretted it. I've never been violent to him, it was the first time.

"You're drunk! And you're scaring him, Mark! Get away!"

He was crawling on the floor. Begging…

I looked down on him hatefully. My whole body was shacking.

Shacking because it was loaded with hate…

So I looked back at Jason. He was still crying, looking with his greenish gray eyes back at me.

And fuck…

I really scared him.

It broke my already broken heart even more.

"I'm sorry, baby…"

I let my arm down and bent over to him and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Stroked his thin chocolate brown hair.

"Goodnight."

I turned around.

Adam slowly got up and looked nervously at me.

He was holding the bloody wound on his head.

I felt sorry then.

I was so heartfucked because of him, but I felt sorry...

But when I reached for him he fought me off.

"Fuck you. I don't want to see you…"

And I left.

It's the last thing I remember….

And we never talked about it again.  
  
"Shut up, Adam…"

Adam hysterically shook my hand from his arm in disgust, but I grabbed him harder and looked into his widened eyes menacing.

"Can't you keep still?", I asked harsh and smashed him against the wall, like a doll.  
He whined, unfortunately, while I took my leather gloves out of my jacket and put them on my hands.

Adam tried to stay calm, watched me with wide eyes.

His chest was moving up and down quickly.

His beauty drilled a wire trough my cheek.

Like a drug.

An addiction.

I couldn't hold it back…

**TBC**

_**As you see - a short chapter. And it's not well written either.  
Was flying around on my desktop. I know, I know.  
You guys still haven't accepted me as Adam/Lawrence writer, because I don't write 'fluffy' and 'adorable' 0815 stuff.  
Anyway. Everything here is cancelled now. Farewell.  
**_


	3. Storeroom I

Adam POV

I could feel my heart beating in my head like a drum, when Mark put on his leather gloves, grabbed me rudely by my arm and dragged me into a door next to us.

"What you're doing?", I screamed as he closed the door carefully and turned the lanky light on which was hanging weakly from the ceiling.

I dared to look around panicked. It was a storeroom with confident space.

"You're not afraid, aren't you?", Mark asked politely and propped his hands beside my head to the left and the right on the wall. I swallowed and looked down to the ground. I lied.  
"Of course not…"

I shivered when he cocked up my chin to his face. "You used to be, Adam baby…." The cold fabric of his leather gloves felt like pure ice on my skin. As cold as his blue eyes.

I used to love them.

Once…

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**It was about a year ago.**

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I was the happiest men in the world, when I knocked at Mark's office room door in our little house late in the morning.

"Enter!"

I came in. Smiling like an idiot.

Well. A proud smile.

Mark was absorbed in his writing.

The rays of the morning sun lay softly in his dark brown hair. They looked like gold.

He wore a fresh white shirt. I've never seen that colour on his darker skin, so I was surprised, how beautiful and innocent he looked in it…

Like an angel.

Mark finally recognized me when I came nearer to his desk. He opened his mouth a little and looked up to me with his baby blue eyes. Worried and surprised at the same time.

"What's up, baby doll?", he asked in a deep voice. Still with this look in his eyes.

I smiled fondly. Even though I was scared…

"Can we talk for a second, honey?"

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

I leaned against the desk. A thousand of words were flying around in my head and it was hard to catch the right ones…

**"Ehm… Look, I'm really sorry that I'm so late today… I.. **

**I know I should help you with the photos for this report, but… It's just that I've got a lot of going on in my head the last days and I- I…"**

Mark interrupted my stupid stutter with a soft _**pshhh**_**.**

I looked unsure back at him.

"Spit it out, sweetheart."

His blue eyes gazed at me. Still so worried…

I took a deep breath in and bored my nails into the massive wood of the desk.

"I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Marks face didn't change, before he was the one who took a deep breath in and licked his bottom lip in a baffled way.

That wasn't a good sign at all and I knew it. I totally panicked inside, but I tried to stay calm in front of him, even though he was my boyfriend.

We knew each other for only two months there. Was it too fast to get a baby?

I didn't know.

I was so young, naive and stupid…

"Please, don't be mad at me…", I begged and touched nervously my belly.  
I hadn't been aware that a little light called life was growing up inside me already…

Until there.

"How long?", he finally asked, still looking at me. I couldn't tell anything by his face.

"Fourth week..", I answered meekly, wrapping my arms around my stomach.

"Fourth w-? How could that happen?", he asked back and I panicked again, because the tone in his voice got louder. Sort of annoyed.

I stepped back. Away from him.

"I don't know… Fuck, Mark. We're in this together… This isn't my fault!"

He moved in his chair and nodded, while he was thinking and then looking back at me.

"So… When's the birth? Already know that? You know my diary is full all the time, Adam.."

I sighted. I got pissed. But I tried to stay back.

"Before Christmas…"

Mark shook his head and got up from his chair. "Jesses Christ, Adam. How should we pay this amount of costs then? I'm already working around the clock and back and it still isn't enough for us…"

"I know! But… I'll do whatever it takes…", I whispered and turned around.

I was hurt.

It felt like he hated that little baby inside my belly… and it brought me to tears.

"I've never thought that I'll be having this conversation with you, Adam… Or at least not that fast.", he said after a long silence and paused for a breath.

"Like I said, whatever it takes…", I sobbed and touched the doorhandle slightly.

I wanted to leave, but suddenly I felt his big hands on my waist, turned me around and pushed me against his strong, protecting and warm chest. "Don't cry, love. I haven't seen this coming… Not yet, but… We will get this right. And I'm not mad at you…", he whispered gently in my hair and stroked them softly.

This gesture just incited me to continue with my pathetic crying against his chest, as I wrapped my hands around his neck and he closed his around my waist, before he pushed me as soft as he cold away and looked into my eyes. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

I nodded awkwardly and wiped the tears and the snot from my nose away with my sleeve. I bet I looked disgusting there…

But Mark just smiled fondly back and kneeled down, pulled up my shirt and touched my belly carefully, before he placed a soft kiss and pushed his ear against it.  
"Hey baby… This is dada…", he whispered cautiously and smiled.

I smiled as well and stroked the dark strands of his hair, which nestled softly between my fingers. He kept talking to my belly and donated me proud glances with his blue eyes.

I loved them…

I used.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you…", he hissed angrily and pushed his weight down on me against the wall. It supposed to hurt… but it didn't.

I drifted away with my thoughts to Jason and I was so god damn afraid that this asshole already done something to him…

"Adam…", Mark muttered and pressed his plush lips against my cheekbone. Kissed me all over my face until he met my lips, but I tried to fight him off, slapped my hand across his face.

"Don't touch me!", I snarled and hit him another time with all my strength, before he grabbed my hands, pinned them against the wall and rammed his knee into my stomach.

I cried out.

The bittersweet taste of blood lingered in my mouth and the mixture of smell from the aftershave, cigarettes and a little sweat from Mark crawled in my nose as I collapsed against his chest.

My world turned black…

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******__************__******

_**TBC  
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**

Ehm yes. This isn't well written, but I hope you still like(d) it.

_  
_**Forget the cancel stuff. My friends almost killed me….  
Thanks for the reviews in the last chapter, but I expected a bit more for this badass Hoffman flashback. Well. Guess it wasn't "fluffy" enough, haha.**

I would be grateful when you give me something back as well, thank you. : )


	4. Monster Daddy

**God****! Thanks for all the Fav. author and story faves! This is my most popular so far, even though I'm not an appreciated Lawrence/Adam writer here. I'm excited about this story, because I don't even know by myself how it will end.**

**4:30 am. Thunderstorm. And I saw Cary Elwes' naked butt. Insomnia is truly wonderful.**

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**Adam POV**

2 months later

It happened at night, in a corner of a dimly lit parking lot, like in a bad horrormovie. It was almost twelve o'clock. Midnight.

I knew the time because I had peeked trough the car window, glancing at the clock in my cheap, wrecked Fiat.

I've parked in an open area across the street from the big supermarket for God's sake! There were people in plain view, even though it was minutes to midnight.

For instance, there was a punk walking his big black dog down the leash. And over to the left, there was a lady in a denim jacket talking to a taxi driver.

People, but none who could help because suddenly I had the cold barrel of a gun in my back. I clinged to Jason out of shock at the moment.

"Take my money! Take my car, b-b…But please don't hurt my bab-"

The gun was pushed into my neck deeper. "Shut your pretty mouth, or I'll kill you both."

The voice was male. Rough, deep, accented… like…

"Mark?"

"Look straight ahead and shut it!"

I looked away. Not looking at him as I was told. Mark went on. "Don't look at me. Get it, babe?"

I nodded.  
Keeping my eyes down, while he pressed his plush lips on my cheekbone and kissed me.

Immediately, Jason started crying.  
With shaking hands, I clutched him nearer to my chest. Instinctively I brought my camera bag over his back, drawing my jacket over it and child.

I hoped that if Mark did shoot, I and the camera bag would protect him. Hopefully…

The gun's barrel pushed into my backbone, I bit in my lip to prevent myself from crying out.

I was completely shocked. Paralyzed. Out of my mind. Desperately I tried to think clear.

"Drop the shit!", he commanded. I hesitated. My camera was sacred to me, sure.  
But it was nothing compared to my son. It protected my sweet little Jason if he would shoot.

"Come on!", he repeated.

Immediately I did as ordered. I heard my camera crashing on the cement, before I heard Mark rotting trough my bag, doing this single handedly because the gun was still pressing into my kidneys.

I begged. I prayed.

Until I head a jangle of metal. My keys?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him opening the passenger door. Again I felt the press of the gun. "Go in. From there. Do it, or I'll shoot our little treasure…", he hissed.

At the mention of my baby, I lost all resolve.

Tears poured down my eyes. I was so fucking scared.

It wasn't the first time he threatened me, or the kid. Most of the time in drunken state.  
But I always handled every situation – until now. I was completely powerless.

Hugging our child, I walked around the front of the car.

Thoughts of escape cut short when I felt the metal in my tailbone.

Then I paused at the sight of the open door.

"Go on!", he barked.

With Jason in my arms, I slid carefully into my passenger's seat.

"Move across", he snapped.

And I tried to figure out how to do this. The car had bucket seats and there was a console between them. With clumsy, halted motions, still holding Jason, I lifted my butt over the leather-cushioned wall, and into the driver's seat. Again, Jason started to cry.

"Shut him up!", Mark barked.

How could a father shout at his one year old baby? I exploded.

"He's a baby! He's scared, you asshole!"

He slapped my face right away so hard, that my head hit the window behind me.

Jason cried louder.

I was afraid that Mark would hit or hurt him, so I began to rock Jason softly. Singing into his ear…

Mark was right beside me. The gun now on my rib.

_Don't look at him_, I reminded myself. _Don't fucking look. Don't look, don't look!_

I stared straight ahead. But I could tell that the gun had shifted to Jason's head.

_Think, Adam! Think!_

But nothing came into my stupid brain, not a thought, not a word. Fear had penetrated every pore of my body. My heart banged against my chest and against Jason's little head.

Slowly my chest was tight. My breath stocking. Within seconds, I felt my head go light.  
Light like a balloon. Along with that darkening of my vision.

Sparkles popped trough my brain like fireworks… that awful sensation of floating to nothingness.

No, I hadn't been shot. I was going to pass out!

_I can't pass out… I can't pa- _

Marks' voice brought me back to reality. He grabbed my chin.

"I'll take Jason. You drive. Alright?"

Jason was still on my lap. Crying, little hands grabbing my shirt helplessly…

_Lawrence! I need you…_


	5. Children kill

**One question: Where them reviewers at? Dead? **

**Whatever: I started a ADAM X LAWRENCE tumblr! :) queerasSaw.**  
**Check it out.**

**P.S.: This chapter is "Gothika" inspired and my wonderful beta is on vacation. (:**

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Adam POV:

I woke up in sweat.

I ran my hands through my wet hair as I sat straight up in my bed.

The dream had seemed so real….

So frighteningly fucking real and-

"W-what?"

My thoughts cut off there as I looked around the room.

This wasn't my bedroom in my house or even a room in a hotel.

One of the walls were made of glass and looked into another similar room across a hall.

No windows, but a dim light fixture on the ceiling, and no more furniture then a slim bed.

I was touching the glass with both hands.

I felt the panic return.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Kicking and beating against the glass I was totally freaking out.

"LET ME OUT!"

I stared shocked as Lawrence entered the glass cell.

The way he barely looked at me, sent a shiver down my spine.

He was my love, my lover, my man…

How could he look at me so uncaring? And what exactly was going on here?

"What's going on? Why am I here?" I was so scared.

"Calm down, Adam...", Lawrence replied calmly as he tried to touch me.

"Calm down?" I repeated, kicking him away from me "How can I calm down? I don't know why I'm here! Where's my son?"

"It's alright Adam, everything will be fine." Lawrence told me in a soothing voice.

"You're not answering me... What happened, Lawrence? Where am I and where is Jason?"

My memory came back to me slowly as I grabbed the lapels of his coat.

"Where's Jason? I saw him and he was hurt.. I-i mean everywhere…. And there was so much blood… so much blood… Oh God, is my baby ok? Please tell me he is fine…"

"Adam, you have to calm down." Lawrence told me, taking my wrist in one hand and placing the other one on my cheek.

"Would you stop telling me to calm down?" I sobbed. " I want to know what happened..."

"Zep?" Lawrence looked away with a nod as a smaller black-haired man entered the cell.

"He's becoming delusional again."

"Delusional?" I repeated. "Damn it Lawrence, I know what I saw!"

Zep pulled out a needle and looked to me with a small, calm smile.

"Ok, darling, now don't be scared, this won't hurt a bit."

"That's a needle! What are you doing with that? I don't need a needle! Larry, help me!"

He grabbed my shoulders and pressed me against the wall, looking into my eyes deeply.

"Restrain yourself, Adam… I didn't know that you had a child…"

My shaking fingers stroked the dirty-blonde strands of hair out of his face.

"W-why… a-are you talking in past tense, Larry? Please don't s-ay what I th… "

"Jason is dead... Y-you killed him."

"What…? No… NO!"

I slapped his face crying out loud and shoved him away.

I was fainting.

Lawrence grabbed my body and pushed me down on the bed.

"NO! NO! JASON!"

I kicked with all my strength but it was useless as I felt a stitch.

Zep buried the needle in my arm.

Suddenly everything looked blurry, the sound was slightly muted.

"Poor boy…"

I couldn't hold on any longer to Lawrence and my eyes fluttered shut.

"Adam… I'm on your side. I'm on your side…"

_Mark and Jason playing in the snow…_

"Don't… do this…", I whispered against his cheek.

_Blood was all over him… _

His kiss lingered barely on my numb lips, as I was falling slowly into the darkness of my vision...

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**I was really turned on while writing this. Female boner fo sho.** **I mean… A beautiful, sweet, helpless, psychopathic Adam? Come on.**

You can't believe that Adam killed his baby? Yes, no, ...? Where's Mark? Review, gang.


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